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Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46837) - you deserved it (7159)
On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)
Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28712) - you deserved it (3100)
On 05/28/2011 at 12:09am - misc - by Imaman - United States (Virginia)
Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26924) - you deserved it (5951)
On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (3365)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (18213)
On 03/03/2011 at 6:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (2742)
On 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm - misc - by BackToRehab - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (8025)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (8025)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (8025)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (8025)
On 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm - misc - by CandyMachine (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (2273)
On 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm - intimacy - by bitchasaurusrex (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22738) - you deserved it (6631) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/22/2011 at 3:49am - misc - by sandra22 - Sent from mobile version
Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27424) - you deserved it (5073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - Switzerland - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherf*cking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35349) - you deserved it (2451)
On 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29667) - you deserved it (8011)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Monday 20 May 2013
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