Lizzi

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Lizzi

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10414
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lizzi : Lizzi... this site is truly fantastic. Truly.

Lizzi's page activity

Visits<b>Chibster</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 5:19pm<b>imabassist</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 4:41pm<b>sastiel</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 9:39pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:04pm<b>badwolf504</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 11:54pm<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:48pm<b>Deadlyhob</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:22am<b>jonathan7777</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 8:47am<b>jsb1426</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 11:21am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:51am<b>chrisstachon</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 4:38pm<b>martini47</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 3:27pm<b>relaxedninja</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 5:04pm<b>garage</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 12:56am<b>desidog</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:19pm<b>Mustang19008</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 4:14pm<b>arthlove</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:03pm<b>BenjiX</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 3:47am

Fucked!<b>gqlmno</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 5:48am

Lizzi's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of Lizzi's badges

Lizzi's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was working at a retirement center, when an old woman came to me and asked if I would like her old clothes. I politely said, "I'm sorry, but I'm a guy." She then said, "You could have just said no, instead of rudely lying to me." FML

by Imaman / 05/28/2011 at 12:09am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I treated my mom to a movie and lunch after she'd attended weeks of AA meetings. She snuck in a flask to the movie, and during lunch, she started calling people muggles. FML

by BackToRehab / 02/26/2011 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving with my mother. The ride was 2 hours long. For the first hour, she talked about how uncomfortable sex is the first time. For the second, she talked about how I should take accordion lessons. FML

by bitchasaurusrex / 02/15/2011 at 4:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while skiing, I really needed to pee. The instructor pointed me towards some bushes. I slid over to them, and pulled my panties down. My skis then started sliding back down the slope. I ended up gliding through the bushes, all the way down to the rest of the group. FML

by sandra22 / 01/22/2011 at 3:49am / Miscellaneous

Today, in dance class, the instructor asked me to demonstrate the splits to the group. I slid down, my legs opening wider as I descended. I then loudly farted for the full 5 seconds it took to reach the ground. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 11:44am / Switzerland / Health

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

by Anonymous / 12/30/2010 at 2:23pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

by lerouxmaster / 12/22/2010 at 6:43am / Kids