Livi1

Search for a member

Livi1

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3562
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

Livi1's page activity

Visits<b>purecountry119</b> - the 02/27/2014 at 11:07am<b>PowerF</b> - the 06/04/2013 at 10:41am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:37pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:10am<b>Damone</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 9:24pm<b>Ebisumaru</b> - the 05/13/2009 at 1:22am

Livi1's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Livi1's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, while we changed positions, he shouts, "Power Rangers - It's Morphin' Time!" FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

by notguilty / 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

by Herdad / 07/30/2009 at 7:34am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

by solomantis / 07/30/2009 at 1:46am / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

by deucelututi / 05/31/2009 at 8:03am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

by Anonymous / 05/30/2009 at 10:19am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Due to the drugs they gave me I felt nauseous. When I went to the bathroom as a precaution I did not throw up. Instead I passed out face first in the toilet. FML

by anon / 05/11/2009 at 4:37pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, is my long-anticipated 21st birthday! Today also happens to be the first day of my period. I've spent the whole morning in the fetal position with agonizing cramps, reduced to tears and whimpering while the painkiller refuses to kick in. Happy birthday! Love, my uterus. FML

by buymeadrank / 04/30/2009 at 11:11am / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

by tgstreaks / 04/23/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, for April fools I decided to set off the smoke detectors in my friend's apartment while he was sleeping and saran wrap the outside of his bedroom doorway so he would smack into it. Instead, he jumped out the window and broke his leg. FML

by nic / 04/01/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

by lolzor / 03/12/2009 at 8:07am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, after a year together, my boyfriend admitted to me that in bed I had as much an effect on him as a crossword puzzle. FML

by Mary / 11/21/2008 at 5:06am / Love