About Little_Lamb : Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you
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Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21903) - you deserved it (2275)
On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24115) - you deserved it (4836)
On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -
Today, while flicking my bean, I was thinking about my boyfriend who moved to California last week. Before I came, I had to stop because I started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22172) - you deserved it (6813)
On 08/14/2011 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21163) - you deserved it (17387)
On 07/11/2011 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by tony456 (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9855) - you deserved it (43829)
On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, it's my wedding day, and I have uncontrollable diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54061) - you deserved it (3630)
On 05/14/2011 at 9:17am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I discovered my wife has a YouTube channel dedicated to 20 second videos of her wearing a fake mustache and making weird sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (6283)
On 05/07/2011 at 9:56am - love - by wtfiswrongwithher - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (39613)
On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (24878)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12614) - you deserved it (36112)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (3152)
On 03/02/2011 at 7:35pm - work - by Worstjob (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32929) - you deserved it (21125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24749) - you deserved it (15686) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (16266)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6402) - you deserved it (36522)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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