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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Liseva

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Liseva
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 811
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Liseva's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

#6378966 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (8924) - you deserved it (25325)

On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)

Today, a old lady on the street told me that I should be wearing a bra because my nipples were visible under my white tee. I am a 37 year old man. FML

#6373189 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (15029) - you deserved it (3540)

On 11/19/2009 at 7:41pm - health - by Mondo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

#6359695 (75)

I agree, your life sucks (21688) - you deserved it (1338)

On 11/18/2009 at 8:30pm - health - by CB (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, a friend and I attempted to jump the 7-foot high fence around his gated community because he'd left his keys. He made it. I didn’t. My shorts caught on the top of the fence, so I was forced to dangle there on a busy street until my Dad came and helped. But only after taking a picture. FML

#6351238 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (6123) - you deserved it (20634)

On 11/18/2009 at 2:42am - misc - by ohjoy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431 (33)

I agree, your life sucks (18520) - you deserved it (2005)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5832) - you deserved it (18377)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was a TA watching the class take a test. I didn't realize that the projector was still on while I was searching the Internet. They watched me google "chronic itchy anus". FML

#6287129 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (7757) - you deserved it (34356)

On 11/13/2009 at 12:47pm - health - by yellowjacket_34 (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my date arrived far earlier than expected to pick me up. Apparently my mother decided to show him to my room anyway. When the door swung open, I happened to be butt naked in front of the mirror, trying to pick out an ingrown hair on my bum. FML

#6285115 (133)

I agree, your life sucks (31979) - you deserved it (3699)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:17am - misc - by stubblebutt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

#6276981 (218)

I agree, your life sucks (23285) - you deserved it (5652)

On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was jumping on every crunchy leaf on the sidewalk. I went especially far out of my way to step on one only to notice it didn't crunch right. I looked closer, it was a dead bird. FML

#6246007 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (18546) - you deserved it (11774)

On 11/10/2009 at 6:05pm - animals - by mhmohyeah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

#6224198 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (28824) - you deserved it (4485)

On 11/09/2009 at 2:55am - health - by vanessa_d15 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a petting zoo with my boyfriend. A guy that worked there said he'd take a picture of me with a mouse on my head. He reassured me that this mouse was trained. I agreed. Once the mouse got on my head, it peed. Turns out the guy didn't work there after all. FML

#6212555 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (18963) - you deserved it (10263)

On 11/08/2009 at 2:14pm - health - by Poopyhead (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML

#6191720 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (7319) - you deserved it (20342)

On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML

#6185536 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (17355) - you deserved it (6983)

On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

#6008433 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (26322) - you deserved it (2680)

On 10/26/2009 at 4:02pm - misc - by notsohot (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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