About Lintu_26 : Mrau!!! :)
I probably favourite too many FML's...but if they make me smile then I might as well collect them ^^
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Perfectionist
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I dropped my 7-year-old son off at school. He decided to have fun and step out of my car screaming "Stranger danger" while running away and pointing at me. I then had to get out of my car to shut the door he'd left wide open. This caused 20 other kids to scream "Stranger danger" as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24067) - you deserved it (2242)
On 12/19/2011 at 7:24am - kids - by dealingdave - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via the medium of free-style rapping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (3171)
On 12/17/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by Emily - United States (Indiana)
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25488) - you deserved it (4488) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I had a dream in which I was arguing with my mom. In the dream, she threatened to hit me, and I told her I'd do it myself. I reared back and knocked the crap out of myself. I'm awake now, and my jaw still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17257) - you deserved it (3862)
On 12/15/2011 at 12:30pm - misc - by Grubendol - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25043) - you deserved it (6018)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7946) - you deserved it (20179)
On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (66086)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15531) - you deserved it (2957)
On 12/08/2011 at 2:30am - work - by dulllife - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (3277)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28979) - you deserved it (13397)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (2203)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22100) - you deserved it (2613)
On 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm - misc - by jackgrant (man) - Iran Islamic Republic of
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20813) - you deserved it (6604)
On 12/05/2011 at 1:13am - health - by lol (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (6679)
Monday 20 May 2013
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