About Lintu_26 : Mrau!!! :)
I probably favourite too many FML's...but if they make me smile then I might as well collect them ^^
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
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Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34835) - you deserved it (6311)
On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41102) - you deserved it (51004)
On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw mice eating from my cat's food dish, again. Where is my cat? He's busy bringing in more mice, birds, and once even an unharmed chipmunk through his cat door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35341) - you deserved it (4161)
On 06/07/2013 at 12:33am - animals - by Damn Cat - United States (Iowa)
Today, I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36916) - you deserved it (2503)
On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49830) - you deserved it (5176)
On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. 20 minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47778) - you deserved it (3407)
On 06/05/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45657) - you deserved it (4030)
On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27327) - you deserved it (58301)
On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)
Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43215) - you deserved it (3476)
On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)
Today, my parents blew my entire college fund in their quest to finish building their replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51673) - you deserved it (4715)
On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (49955) - you deserved it (13590)
On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45947) - you deserved it (20992)
On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49879) - you deserved it (3225)
On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States
Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39920) - you deserved it (7186)
On 05/25/2013 at 12:37am - kids - by Laurel (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48630) - you deserved it (3737)
On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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