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About Link_Asriel : I'm a US Marine CPL, stationed in Okinawa,Japan.
i am a gamer and a drift-nut
anything else u wanna know just ax me.
To the FML Staff: Where the hell did my FML go?? It was here last month but not its gone so WTF?
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said "That was my daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24711) - you deserved it (2486)
On 01/18/2011 at 3:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you deserved it (30713) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10123) - you deserved it (26215) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21502) - you deserved it (2245)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, while on my honeymoon with my new wife, I tried to be romantic by installing a clapper to the lights in our room. As things progressed, the noise of our love making triggered the lights on and off repeatedly. She began to laugh and we ended up just calling it an early night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22197) - you deserved it (9429)
On 12/17/2010 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82981) - you deserved it (9947)
On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29982) - you deserved it (3516)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (3221)
On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my teacher turned around from the blackboard and screamed, "Stop chewing your gum like a cow!" That wasn't so bad.--The bad part was when she realized it was me, she apologized saying, " I am sorry. You are not really a cow. I don't want to traumatize you; you're just overweight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25396) - you deserved it (5260)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:31am - misc - by teach (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15523) - you deserved it (44449)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27602) - you deserved it (15694)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I had to use my butthole to negotiate with my husband so I can get a new tattoo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10490) - you deserved it (34258)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:32am - intimacy - by H8TR (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10206) - you deserved it (25561)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (10617)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (7499)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version
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