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LillyMyers

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LillyMyers
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 257
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LillyMyers's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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LillyMyers's favorite FMLs

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51174) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49629) - you deserved it (2360)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41878) - you deserved it (3494)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML

#20922561
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (6078)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31545) - you deserved it (3985)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

#20876988
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45666) - you deserved it (3292)

On 09/11/2013 at 12:57pm - animals - by ugh Buck! (woman) - United States

Today, my car window got smashed, because someone somehow confused the doll my daughter always leaves strapped into a carseat for an actual kid. It's a cabbage patch kid. FML

#20867513
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43303) - you deserved it (3138)

On 09/04/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by mother to an ugly doll - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my little sister opened a lemonade stand in front of our house. Surprisingly, she actually had a lot of customers, all kids. Two hours or so later, some parents came back complaining and threatening to sue my family. Turns out that what we thought was lemonade was actually beer. FML

Today, my sister had an emotional breakdown because two guys love her and she can't pick just one. Meanwhile I'm single and spend my time laying treats on my floor in a pattern and watching my rabbit run in circles. FML

#20843729
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41081) - you deserved it (3256)

On 08/18/2013 at 9:36pm - misc - by Having a pretty sister sucks. - United States (Texas)

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

#20843350
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35363) - you deserved it (13754)

On 08/18/2013 at 4:13pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old standing over me with a pillow. I asked him what he was doing, and he replied that he and Steve were playing a game, but Steve said I have to be asleep for it. Steve is my son's imaginary friend. I'm convinced Steve wants to kill me. FML

#20842823
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50138) - you deserved it (2939)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:37am - kids - by DrtySnchez - United States (Georgia)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
188 comments

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50702) - you deserved it (5704)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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