LilRed

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LilRed

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 February 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 48073
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About LilRed : Ask me no questions and I shall tell you no lies.

LilRed's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 8:49am<b>TheChelseaSays</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:36pm<b>mickinly_lanae</b> - the 11/11/2013 at 2:36pm<b>m0rgan69</b> - the 07/11/2009 at 12:45am<b>kjm1001</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:57am<b>soobored</b> - the 05/21/2009 at 10:53pm<b>ursixx</b> - the 05/05/2009 at 5:39am<b>Pirate_argh</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 7:11pm<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:21am<b>cdklos</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 12:16am<b>assman266</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 8:24pm<b>hebda</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 3:04am<b>purelife</b> - the 04/30/2009 at 12:28am<b>username666</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 5:18pm<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 04/28/2009 at 12:48pm<b>Bapes</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 6:44pm<b>mfylife123</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 2:02pm<b>skinywiteboy805</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 9:47am

LilRed's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

LilRed's favorite FMLs

Today, I received the box my parents sent me for my birthday. Contents were a travel first-aid kit, and a remote control robot toy, with an age recommendation on the box of 8. I'm 29. They thought that since I'm an engineer I would like the toy. They also think I'll hurt myself with it. FML

by JustAGiftCardPlease / 06/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancé, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancé for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I paid $60 for a haircut from a professional stylist, only to walk out looking like Spock from Star Trek. The worst part was the stylist asked me, "Hey, are you going to see that new Star Trek movie?" and tried to talk me into watching it. Now, wherever I go, people are giving me the 'live long and prosper' sign. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, 5 hours into my shift in a cafe I realized there were two stickers on my back that read: "Don't touch my no-no square" and "I wear diapers." I make food with my back to customers all day and I walk through the seating area delivering food. No one said anything. FML

by kekumbas / 05/05/2009 at 2:11am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to superglue a couple quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I found a box of birthday candles sitting on the coffee table. Bored, I lit one, and after a minute I threw it away and sat back down on the couch. I started looking at the box and noticed that it said "Magic Re-Lighting Candles" at the exact moment that my trash can burst into flames. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2009 at 4:28pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

by Iman / 05/04/2009 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2009 at 4:12am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

by Dunzo15 / 05/02/2009 at 2:28am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I forgot my inhaler. I had an asthma attack and had to go to the ER. The doctors told me it wasn't an asthma attack. It was just a panic attack from worrying about whether I would get an asthma attack. FML

by jlover42 / 05/01/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Health