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LifeAlertTwerk

Offline (the 03/24/2014 at 5:13am) | Search for a member

LifeAlertTwerk

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 August 1995 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About LifeAlertTwerk : This upcoming semester I will be a sophomore in college majoring in Biology. My focus is pre-med, and I hope to become a general practitioner once I graduate medical school. I am currently in a happy relationship with a wonderful girl named AnnKatherine. We've been together almost two years and hopefully many more to come. I like to swim, read, and play Xbox. I love animals, especially dogs, and my dream pet is a blue Merle Australian Shepherd with tan points. Right now I have two beagles named Maggie and Cooper. Copper is a little bit older and only has three legs after being hit by a car almost 10 years ago :(. I am a smart and determined person, but at the same time I can be a bit shy and awkward. Back in high school I played the lead trumpet in the marching band, but my college unfortunately doesn't have a band.

LifeAlertTwerk's page activity

Visits<b>jac71597</b> - yesterday at 1:59am<b>Project71</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:56pm<b>hottay7164</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 12:46am<b>hare</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 9:25am<b>Fawn_Delmee</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 2:47am<b>depressed_child</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:33pm<b>gucciforlyf</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 6:58pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:14pm<b>itsnicole96</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:48am<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 12:23am<b>PickleGoose</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 7:01pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 6:47pm<b>lolurkidding</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 5:19am<b>princesshaleigh</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:23am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:15am<b>rabbit987654324</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 1:01am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:15pm<b>Prerogative</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 5:39pm

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LifeAlertTwerk's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

#21207511
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (13397)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

#21202583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (3790)

On 07/08/2014 at 4:40am - misc - by crippled (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friend found on Tinder the profile of a guy I've been dating and getting quite serious with. I was surprised, not only because he'd told me he didn't do "stuff" like Facebook or Tinder, but because he lied about his job and his surname. Oh, and the fact that he got married in March. FML

#21202569
139 comments

Today, I was really upset and the girl I like saw me. She told me what a great guy I am and that I deserve to be happy. With any other girl but her. FML

#21202480
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39972) - you deserved it (3998)

On 07/08/2014 at 2:04am - love - by SadlyNotMe - United States

Today, my husband told me he was going to search from store to store in order to find my birthday gift. What was he really doing? His girlfriend. FML

#21202458
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (3598)

On 07/08/2014 at 1:41am - love - by rozsrredd (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (2989)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had this really high fever and my sister decides I'm hot enough to fry an egg on. So I'm lying in bed now, still terribly feverish but smelling of the egg she cracked on my back. FML

#21202148
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35764) - you deserved it (3148)

On 07/07/2014 at 9:41pm - health - by egged - Singapore

Today, I used the self-checkout for the first time. I didn't see a slot for bills, so I tried to put them in the coin slot for a solid three minutes. There was a huge line behind me, silently judging. FML

#21197152
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (24543)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:29am - money - by notacashier - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

#21162704
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50188) - you deserved it (7308)

On 06/04/2014 at 11:52am - intimacy - by Justawoman (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I gave up trying to make any friends at my job as a firefighter. I'm the lone female, and am the subject of gossip with the older men. Anyone I try to befriend ends up hitting on me, while others won't even talk to me because their wives are jealous. FML

#21159616
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (5093)

On 06/01/2014 at 5:53pm - work - by anikah (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I received yet another rejection letter from a college I'd applied to. After crying for a week about how lousy I felt, my older sister gave me all 6 of the acceptance letters she'd been hiding. Turns out she's been forging rejection letters and keeping the real ones in her room. FML

#21140332
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66694) - you deserved it (4940)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:40am - misc - by livingamongtheflowers - United States

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, someone on Instagram posted a picture of himself with gym lifting straps around his neck. I commented "autoerotic asphyxiation" and now a 250-pound bodybuilder wants to kill me. FML

#21097153
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21234) - you deserved it (35441)

On 03/26/2014 at 6:39pm - health - by athletiks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to get out of my boyfriend's car in an angered exit because he got a text from the woman he's been cheating on me with. I ended up tripping on my purse, falling out of the car and face-planting onto the sidewalk. FML

Today, I learned that most teenagers would rather grab free candy from the broken vending machine than help the guy stuck underneath it get free. FML

#21093947
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41177) - you deserved it (4652)

On 03/23/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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