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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was on the bus heading home from school, when I noticed a ridiculously hot girl near me, checking me out. I was about to say something charmingly funny when I suddenly got a whiff of onions. Turns out she had turned around simply to catch the essence of her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (3809)
On 02/10/2011 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I got into a car accident. Why? I was distracted by a floating spec of dust and was pretending I was in space. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5944) - you deserved it (44677)
On 01/24/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by moxy -
Today, my girlfriend, who's on a diet, refused to give me a blow job because my sperm would "add useless calories" to her day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29812) - you deserved it (10181)
On 01/22/2011 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my extremely superstitious girlfriend called me and said she couldn't make it to the date I had planned tonight. Her reason? "I sense something horrible is going to happen." I was planning to propose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34803) - you deserved it (3000)
On 01/20/2011 at 8:15pm - love - by fianceeless (man) - United States (California)
Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (1949)
On 01/18/2011 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21990) - you deserved it (2993)
On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23887) - you deserved it (1524)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by beer guy -
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24693) - you deserved it (2342)
Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22780) - you deserved it (3726)
On 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm - health - by leilei (woman) - Philippines
Today, my parents went to the Cayman Islands, leaving me at home in freezing Iowa. Also, even though I never get into trouble, they don't trust me enough to be home on my own. So they hired a babysitter to stay with me until they get back. I'm 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24002) - you deserved it (2901)
On 11/29/2010 at 11:05am - misc - by wtf (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my friend peed her pants while we were sledding. I could feel it trickling down into my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22073) - you deserved it (270)
On 11/28/2010 at 3:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I discovered my parents took me to a specialist when I was a baby because they thought I had a facial deformity. It turns out I'm just ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27129) - you deserved it (1963)
On 11/26/2010 at 7:23pm - misc - by bleh (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11979) - you deserved it (16403)
On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I received my acceptance letter to one of the most prestigious universities in the US, as well as a nice scholarship. I was so proud of myself, I eagerly showed my dad, hoping he would shed a tear or two. His only words were, "Just get a job so you can get the hell out of my house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26680) - you deserved it (2855)
On 11/23/2010 at 11:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (3533)
Monday 20 May 2013
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