About Lexisaurus : Im a girl, i have a name. I like food and breathing. Some old people bug me.
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Lexisaurus's favorite FMLs
by give me an F / 01/05/2014 at 11:16am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML
by naughtymommy0317 / 06/20/2013 at 4:47am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML
by kiss98367 / 06/16/2013 at 7:48pm / United States / Love
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
by explanations / 06/14/2013 at 2:48am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, my kids surprised me when I got home. One of them played the Rocky theme song on the stereo, and the other came up to me and said, "Daddy, let's go. We need you to drop about 15 pounds before you appear in front of all of our friends at our play." FML
by Cody / 07/19/2010 at 9:59am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML
by DayamyWuzHere / 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in grade 10. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
by JSeth / 07/04/2009 at 12:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
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