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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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LewJH

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LewJH
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 753
  • Number of comments : 113
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LewJH's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

#5895637 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (16234) - you deserved it (2087)

On 10/19/2009 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Geez (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I woke up very hung over after a big party last night. As I walked into my kitchen to make something to eat, I noticed a weird smell. Turns out my friend had thrown up in my freezer, and then turned off my whole fridge so "it wouldn't freeze and be hard for me to clean up in the morning." FML

#5835265 (51)

I agree, your life sucks (18231) - you deserved it (2792)

On 10/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Pimp53X (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I visited home. My drunk mother was screaming to my drunk stepdad about a fight four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "Orgasm face." And the neighbors were dancing outside coked out and naked. FML

#5344643 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (56720) - you deserved it (2965)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

#5330246 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2566)

On 09/18/2009 at 10:27am - animals - by poopEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84475) - you deserved it (17442)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

#4330249 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (69499) - you deserved it (14724)

On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML

#4328474 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (19146) - you deserved it (28136)

On 08/06/2009 at 3:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML

#4046377 (746)

I agree, your life sucks (81744) - you deserved it (24052)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States