18year old blues harmonica beginner, experienced tennis trainer, while writing in polish above average poet, an eloquent nice looking bastard with sometimes a twisted and cold sense of humor. =3 enjoy your trip.
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18606) - you totally deserved it (2636)
On 10/27/2009 at 6:20am - love - by kahemae44 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was reading in my bed, and my cat was lying on my chest. I noticed something white on my cat's leg. I'm near sighted and wasn't wearing my glasses, so I didn't see what it was. I touched it and put on my glasses. Turns out it was a worm hanging out of my cat's anus. It started wiggling. FML
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On 10/26/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by K.H (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)
Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25061) - you totally deserved it (2125)
On 10/25/2009 at 3:19pm - love - by rollercoaster (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23667) - you totally deserved it (3386)
On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was trying to look cute in front of this really nice guy. I sure hope he thinks smacking into a pole, rebounding backwards and knocking over an old man is cute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7363) - you totally deserved it (17170)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:14am - love - by mudafkrmas (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12893) - you totally deserved it (46873)
On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend gave me a poem saying "Roses are red, violets are blue, rubbish is dumped and so are you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you totally deserved it (2193)
On 09/14/2009 at 5:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, I went to visit my parents. My dad went on a religious tirade, my mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told mum to 'go to her room and pray'. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22207) - you totally deserved it (1678)
On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32707) - you totally deserved it (4849)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML
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On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28264) - you totally deserved it (2224)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my co-worker came back from Thailand with big new breasts. She told me to go ahead and touch them because they have a funny texture for the first few months. When our GM entered the room, I had both hands down my co-worker's shirt, agreeing that they were unnaturally firm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7619) - you totally deserved it (20958)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by flexibleflatulance (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a carnival. While walking around with my cousin, I saw a one hundred dollar bill on the ground. Just before I stepped on it, a man grabbed it. His words? "Don't you just hate it when that happens?" And he walked away. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by bubblezzz123 - United States (New York)
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
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On 09/04/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Scarred (man) - United States (North Carolina)
