Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LemonandLime

Search for a member

LemonandLime

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 678
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 28 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LemonandLime's page activity

Visits<b>aruden</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 6:11pm<b>sarmo1995</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 10:50am<b>colinlb</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:03pm<b>Star928</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:07am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 7:36pm<b>Dawnstempest</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 6:08pm<b>piosc</b> - the 10/16/2013 at 6:30pm<b>feven52</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 4:07pm<b>BeautifulEvil</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:56am<b>FightMyLiger</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 12:28am<b>girlrome</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 12:53pm<b>myproblems</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 1:02am<b>xcicistarx</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 11:22pm<b>suckmyclock</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 12:01pm<b>Myisss01</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 1:54pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 5:48pm<b>intheheart</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 7:45pm<b>whatsarah</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 6:37pm

LemonandLime's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of LemonandLime's badges

LemonandLime's favorite FMLs

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

#20757332
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52746) - you deserved it (3349)

On 07/01/2013 at 1:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to my parents' house. I recently lost about 30 lbs. My mom hugged me and said, "Aww, you're not my chubby baby girl anymore." She then said she wished I were still fat because she missed it. She's the reason I lost the weight; she used to tease and taunt me. Thanks Mom. FML

#20752290
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50773) - you deserved it (3608)

On 06/28/2013 at 11:51am - misc - by me - United States

Today, after working at my job for months, I quit. Why? My boss tried to convince me that we are in a secret relationship after he told me he loved me. FML

#20751768
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41529) - you deserved it (2699)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:23am - work - by unknown relationship - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42681) - you deserved it (7807)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss held my hair while I threw up. It's day two on the job. FML

#20738351
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44340) - you deserved it (8178)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:44am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML

#20732995
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52855) - you deserved it (5067)

On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (47238)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39884) - you deserved it (7873)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my 21-year-old girlfriend finally got the courage to tell her mom that she wanted to move in with me. It turns out she was right to be afraid; during the talk, her mother yelled at us, calling her a slut and saying she was too young to be "shacking up with some guy." FML

#20714116
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37483) - you deserved it (4738)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:26pm - love - by MonsterInLaw (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (7480)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out why my daughter eats so many sugary baked goods. According to her, when you bake things, all the sugar and calories are "released" and so you can't gain weight from it. It seems I raised a moron. FML

#20713749
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (7480)

On 06/08/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44483) - you deserved it (3029)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45096) - you deserved it (6062)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44259) - you deserved it (13426)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57727) - you deserved it (19441)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: