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LemonandLime

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LemonandLime
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 212
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

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50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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LemonandLime's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (2557)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to go see my granddad in the hospital and asked if he needed anything. He replied, "I need you to get out and send that hot nurse in, I may be old but I still got it." FML

#20644913
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (5331)

On 05/06/2013 at 4:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39164) - you deserved it (11066)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54543) - you deserved it (9167)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

#20585643
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32014) - you deserved it (4442)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)

Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML

#20585611
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38190) - you deserved it (3420)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML

#20584991
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29875) - you deserved it (2861)

On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (3220)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

#20575858
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24855) - you deserved it (3220)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:23am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2324)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54423) - you deserved it (6564)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonalds everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonalds. FML

#20538059
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34294) - you deserved it (3188)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:03pm - love - by Raiden (man) - United Kingdom (Barnsley)

Today, my boyfriend left me for a girl I know. She was the girl my last boyfriend left me for. FML

#20536593
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23905) - you deserved it (2141)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after my 5-year-old finally got over his grandmother's death, we went to a store and saw a lady that looked exactly like her. She came up to us asking if we saw her grandson; I can't get my son to stop freaking out. FML

#20535134
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (1245)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:55pm - kids - by Maxie - United States (Ohio)



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