Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LegoHouse17

Offline (the 05/15/2015 at 5:27am) | Search for a member

LegoHouse17

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 8844
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

LegoHouse17's page activity

Visits<b>EJSwank</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 7:54am<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:26pm<b>JayGatsby</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 12:26am<b>Lorenzzon</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 2:43pm

LegoHouse17's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of LegoHouse17's badges

LegoHouse17's favorite FMLs

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28345) - you deserved it (2008)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML

#21409473
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32596) - you deserved it (2602)

On 05/13/2015 at 1:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML

#21409137
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24065) - you deserved it (3031)

On 05/12/2015 at 8:33pm - misc - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37015) - you deserved it (2024)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30909) - you deserved it (2862)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we wouldn't move in together as we had planned to do for a long time. His mother forbade it. He is 27. FML

#21407402
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27852) - you deserved it (2852)

On 05/09/2015 at 7:03pm - love - by forever alone (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML

#21406740
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24659) - you deserved it (7110)

On 05/08/2015 at 11:44am - work - by pop, pop (man) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (35816)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML

#21406350
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (2474)

On 05/07/2015 at 6:22pm - love - by alaina2001 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32743) - you deserved it (5378)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I called one of my old coworkers to see how she was doing. My boyfriend answered the phone. FML

#21406043
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (2118)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:27am - love - by that one anon - United States (California)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (5141)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31777) - you deserved it (3714)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

#21405584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10800) - you deserved it (40098)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:34am - work - by Freelman - Ireland (Dublin)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: