About Legendslayer222 : I go here to make my own life seem less bad by comparison :P
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6872) - you deserved it (13283)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:56am - misc - by for_fs_sake (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (8249)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15202) - you deserved it (2053)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5332) - you deserved it (19737)
On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend called out the word "scalpel" when he orgasmed. He won't tell me why. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18330) - you deserved it (1973)
On 09/15/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by not the scalpel (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13389) - you deserved it (3095)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm - kids - by SerendipityRose - United States (California)
Today, feeling angry at the world, I threw a bottle, that had been clearly marked to be recycled, into a garbage can as an act of defiance. Minutes later, I guiltily retreated and spent the next few minutes with my entire arm stuck up the stinking ass of a city garbage can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3735) - you deserved it (20689)
On 09/12/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26610) - you deserved it (3197)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31297) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6115) - you deserved it (6539)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (2406)
On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I ordered a pizza. I paid and tipped the pizza guy, and instead of saying goodbye, I got tongue-tied and said, "I love you, boo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10536) - you deserved it (18172)
On 12/18/2011 at 6:36pm - misc - by Musicfreak (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I brought my girlfriend over to her first dinner with my family. My gramps spent the entire dinner telling my girlfriend how the Illuminati are plotting to take over the world and use microchips to control everyone. So much for being taken seriously now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17631) - you deserved it (2032)
On 11/18/2011 at 8:58pm - love - by Trey - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16116) - you deserved it (32333)
On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)
Today, I was working at my new job at a food court on campus. One of the supervisors came up to my station and told me that I "really look like someone who, through some miracle, accidentally found their way into college." He then threw a pickle at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17368) - you deserved it (1824)
On 09/26/2011 at 1:18am - work - by SakuraBreeze (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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