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LegacyAuthor

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LegacyAuthor
  • Town/Country : Miamisburg, United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 27 December 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 183
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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LegacyAuthor's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the Giants game. During the seventh inning stretch they showed me on the jumbo-tron. It was just in time for the entire stadium to see me pull a tampon out of my purse. FML

#20799228
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58046) - you deserved it (7551)

On 07/23/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by GiantsFan13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45193) - you deserved it (2413)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

#20754226
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38056) - you deserved it (2225)

On 06/29/2013 at 12:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61845) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52074) - you deserved it (2848)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47572) - you deserved it (7167)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (26455)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36061) - you deserved it (13349)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to present a program to my supervisors in University. Not being a native English speaker, I used my own invented abbreviations for parameters in the program. Apparently STD is not an appropriate abbreviation for "standard deviation." I can still hear them laughing. FML

#20156190
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18139) - you deserved it (6796)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:23am - work - by EnglishLearner (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML

#20139353
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23012) - you deserved it (2150)

On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19768) - you deserved it (8223)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26639) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (2367)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML

#19911168
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52317) - you deserved it (2240)

On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)



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