Learxst

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Learxst

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2161
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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Learxst's page activity

Visits<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:13am<b>ashee145</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:24am<b>maddiiee00</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 9:31pm<b></b> - the 10/23/2010 at 10:56pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/09/2009 at 10:18am<b>BuMbLeBeE_46</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 7:45am

Learxst's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Learxst's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

by mandy / 04/10/2009 at 11:35am / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

by Franco / 04/10/2009 at 10:07am / United States / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she found out that she wasn't really in love with me. She got that advice from an internet survey. FML

by internetadvice / 04/01/2009 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Love

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend I went into his shower to freshen up. Where I saw an open bottle of pubic lice shampoo. FML

by lice / 03/28/2009 at 9:34am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, me and my girlfriend went to the club. The song "Single Ladies" by Beyonce came on; the DJ came on the mic and said "Single ladies raise your hands!" My girlfriend raised her hand. FML

by dumpedattheclub / 03/27/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML

by Señor Guapo / 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML

by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I spent 300 dollars making colored flyers for my iPhone that I lost. On the flyer I wrote for whoever found it to call me and I would give a reward. I wrote the phone number of my iPhone that I lost. FML

by Mike / 02/28/2009 at 9:42pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Geek

Today, I got my fake ID and went out with the boys to dinner and the bars. One of my friends asked to see my ID. He noticed my birthday didn't make me over 21. I paid $170 for a fake ID with my real birthday. FML

by Noname / 02/21/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, I cut myself on a band-aid box, while trying to get one out for another cut. FML

by Chicketi / 02/11/2009 at 9:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML

by J / 02/11/2009 at 2:14am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cut myself with child-proof scissors. FML

by tylerlove361 / 02/11/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous