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Leafs03's favorite FMLs
by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML
by SamWGovan / 12/09/2012 at 11:57am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
by Tasha_1996 / 12/09/2012 at 5:14am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I called my dad, because I haven't spoken to him in a while, and I wanted to invite him to my graduation in May. When he picked up, I said, "Hey, how have you been, dad?" He scoffed, "Wrong number" and hung up the phone. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML
by Whipped Cream / 11/24/2012 at 12:38am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
by RyanJarmanForPresident / 11/23/2012 at 4:07am / United States / Kids
by Jo / 11/21/2012 at 12:42am / United States (California) / Geek
Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 10:25am / United States (California) / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/08/2012 at 7:38am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML