This member hasn't filled in the description.
Today, my mom and I went to the store. I asked her to go get me coconut smelling shampoo and tampons while I lingered by the magazines trying to talk to this cute guy. My mom comes around into our aisle and says "I smelled all the tampons and none smelled like coconut, so I just got you these" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you totally deserved it (6381)
On 05/22/2009 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6944) - you totally deserved it (28344)
On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5766) - you totally deserved it (94690)
On 04/03/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by C0olgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it and offered some to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88970) - you totally deserved it (9939)
On 04/03/2009 at 1:16am - misc - by lalanon (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I finally convinced my husband of 8 years to partake in a threesome with a guy that works with me and for which I have developed feelings. Everything was going well until in the heat of the moment my husband started performing oral sex on my colleague. I can't face either of them now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27070) - you totally deserved it (205598)
On 04/02/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Guilt (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (107258) - you totally deserved it (27581)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, bouncing at a local bar. I I.D.'d a girl with a group of people. I told her that next time she used a fake I.D., she at least should get one with a picture that looked like her. She started crying and ran off. A guy told me that she had been in a car wreck, and had been badly disfigured. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you totally deserved it (45519)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:51pm - work - by tsardaukar (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I decided to take a nap. My boyfriend gave me some sleeping pills but I decided last minute not to take them. I woke up to my boyfriend kissing my neck and unbuttoning my shirt. Without opening my eyes, I whispered "ooh this is so romantic." He blurted out shocked, "Oh...you're awake?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (149915) - you totally deserved it (9551)
On 04/01/2009 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (183651) - you totally deserved it (20285)
On 04/01/2009 at 9:44am - love - by twstedillusion (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37895) - you totally deserved it (8071)
On 04/01/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by Thithien1 (man) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)
Today, I was walking down the street with my acoustic guitar on my back. I saw a girl that I like coming down the opposite way, so I decided to play my guitar to try and impress her. I started to tune it quickly, but while I wasn't paying attention, I ran into a pole. Now my guitar is cracked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12715) - you totally deserved it (51389)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad was laying down on the couch and i sat down next to him. As i was reading a text message i saw my dad's fat stomach sticking out so I patted it. After the first two pats, I realized I was patting in the wrong place. I patted the family jewels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13015) - you totally deserved it (51249)
On 04/01/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by whatashame (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the C-train was packed and I was stuck with a homeless man pressed up against me. He was staring at me intently, and two minutes into the ride he got an erection, which was rubbed against me at every single bump and turn of the train. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84167) - you totally deserved it (3120)
On 03/30/2009 at 9:43pm - intimacy - by Julie - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (194144) - you totally deserved it (6743)
On 03/30/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by nothappywithlife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was getting sick of listening to the guy in the next room over getting nasty with some girl, so I called my girlfriend to see if she wanted to go get some food. Then I heard her phone ring. Through the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (120339) - you totally deserved it (4095)
On 03/28/2009 at 4:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
