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Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29572) - you deserved it (1994)
On 01/21/2012 at 6:59am - misc - by superficialheart - China
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (4062)
On 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by suffersecks - United States
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19007) - you deserved it (4311)
On 01/18/2012 at 6:30am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47438) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25761) - you deserved it (2103)
On 11/10/2011 at 9:35am - money - by Agathus (man) - United Arab Emirates
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18089) - you deserved it (3925)
On 11/10/2011 at 6:16am - misc - by Sack - United Kingdom
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27768) - you deserved it (2870)
On 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by tech_support (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)
Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34765) - you deserved it (14400)
On 10/23/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by canucks_chick - Canada
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12353) - you deserved it (44295)
On 10/22/2011 at 9:25am - misc - by jaymash - United States (Michigan)
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13581) - you deserved it (21490)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26102) - you deserved it (6817)
On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42779) - you deserved it (6047)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I thought I'd be helpful and pick up my Dad's car from the repairs shop for him while he was at work. So, on my own, I hopped in my car and I drove the 15 minutes out to the shop. Only upon arriving did I consider the situation I'd put myself in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6272) - you deserved it (36491)
On 10/18/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by BackAndForth (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9626) - you deserved it (56881)
On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)
Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (1627)
On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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