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LdyJstc's favorite FMLs
by sickandtiredofit / 01/24/2012 at 2:50pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I totaled my car, because I mistook the leaves blowing across the road for a child. I swerved and hit a tree. The home owner wants to sue for "harming his tree" and hospital wants to test my mental stability. FML
by wrecked / 01/22/2012 at 8:52pm / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm / United States (Illinois) / Money
Today, while riding back from a weekend away with my boyfriend, we crashed his motorbike, resulting in us getting thrown over a barbed wire fence into a forest. I woke up in hospital. Apparently, in his adrenaline rush, he climbed back on his bike and continued his trip, forgetting all about me. FML
by superficialheart / 01/21/2012 at 6:59am / China / Transportation
by suffersecks / 01/20/2012 at 6:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML
by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
by perenoel / 12/03/2011 at 11:24am / France / Kids
Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML
by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money
Today, I sat on the toilet and fell off as the broken toilet seat slid off. As I fell, I grabbed the light cord in an effort to stop myself, and pulled it out of the ceiling. Now I can't use the toilet, and have to shower in the dark. FML
by Sack / 11/10/2011 at 6:16am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
by jaymash / 10/22/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted… Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I threw up when I got home because I'd been drinking with friends. My parents asked what was…