LardZilla

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LardZilla

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1557
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About LardZilla : My name is Tyson. I am the Master Assassin of the Assassin Order and I am a Pokemon Master hailing from Littleroot town. I have trained to be the very best like no one ever was. I have dwelled in the shadows so that I can work in the light. I have traveled the many regions of the Pokemon world and emerged with many new friends. I live by the Creed and by moral duty. Only you can choose your destiny. Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

LardZilla's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 6:17am<b>One_Way</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 12:54am<b>NomeDMF</b> - the 09/17/2015 at 11:23pm<b>steph2987</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:27pm<b>Supersid333</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 7:32pm<b>unknownsilver</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:15pm<b>theuglyone77</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 12:22am<b>PsychoticAsylum</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:18am<b>paindnsicuas</b> - the 09/18/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Looee</b> - the 05/22/2013 at 12:14am<b>mif</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:09pm<b>EmyB</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 12:32pm<b>Covenant74</b> - the 02/26/2013 at 10:43pm<b>Championing</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 12:22am<b>Faery_Magic</b> - the 02/10/2013 at 4:04pm<b>sweetxxsongbird</b> - the 01/04/2013 at 9:58am<b>sarajane18</b> - the 12/26/2012 at 10:42pm

Fucked!<b>karacakal2</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 12:17pm

LardZilla's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of LardZilla's badges

LardZilla's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

by madden2014 / 09/19/2013 at 6:23pm / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

by firestar772 / 02/11/2013 at 10:48am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML

by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

by awhmaaan / 02/27/2012 at 10:55am / United Kingdom / Health

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML

by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the laundry mat, an old man kept putting extra quarters in my dryer. I didn't realize until a while later what he'd done, just so he could keep watching me bend over to see how much time was left. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2011 at 1:07pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I played Taboo with my boyfriend and my conservative family. It was my boyfriend's turn and his word was "cherry". His only clue to me was, "I popped your..." He was the only one who found it funny. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2011 at 12:44am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

by dan / 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 7:54pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I learned that when you piss on a hornets' nest from a window, the hornets will go after the source of the stream. It can also cause you to fall through your friend's second story window. FML

by freakfreak12345 / 07/19/2011 at 12:41pm / United States (Maine) / Animals

Today, I was walking down the street hand in hand with my girlfriend. I couldn't help but stare at a gorgeous girl as she bent down to pick something up. It was such a great sight, I didn't notice the metal telephone pole directly in my path. FML

by sorehead / 07/13/2011 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML

by whyme102008 / 07/13/2011 at 2:32am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML

by Anonyme / 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm / Love