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Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16572) - you totally deserved it (3037)
On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24363) - you totally deserved it (1364)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you totally deserved it (4545)
On 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19709) - you totally deserved it (3689)
On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17804) - you totally deserved it (3038)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I proceeded to rip it off, I pulled very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you totally deserved it (5756)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:37pm - health - by jellybean (woman) - United States
I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you totally deserved it (2305)
On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I dropped my 400 dollar cell phone on the floor by mistake and it shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21203) - you totally deserved it (10140)
On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I came in to work and found the conference room white boards completely clean. My assistant wiped all the white boards where I spent 10 hours writing schedule for the next three months. I was going to meet with all supervisors to finalize that schedule today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21754) - you totally deserved it (4059)
On 11/03/2009 at 4:51pm - work - by CorpDrone (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, a milkbone commerical came on TV. At the end of the commercial, they whistle and throw a milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100 lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and pummel my brand new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27016) - you totally deserved it (2255)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on a date, and within the first five minutes, he said, "Before we go any further and get anymore serious, you need to know a few things, I have kissed a guy drunk because it was a dare, and have a $400 silk rose Victoria's Secret blanket." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you totally deserved it (3050)
On 11/02/2009 at 10:41pm - misc - by Shawty (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22166) - you totally deserved it (2993)
On 11/01/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20196) - you totally deserved it (1854)
On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you totally deserved it (2282)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got a call from my son's second grade teacher. He happens to write and throw with both hands, and wanted to share this during show and tell. Apparently, he didn't know the word for this is ambidextrous, because his teacher told me, "Your son just told the whole class that he's bisexual!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31286) - you totally deserved it (2383)
On 06/22/2009 at 2:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
