About Lance23Dillon : I'm a college student studying anthropology at OSU.
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Lance23Dillon's favorite FMLs
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML
by pwib / 03/18/2012 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals
by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals
by thechimpchapter / 12/31/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by ktinanic / 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML
by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML
by WTF / 12/30/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Money
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
by Ashton Sprunger / 12/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Work
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML
by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…