Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 January 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1238
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Lance23Dillon : I'm a college student studying anthropology at OSU.

Lance23Dillon's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of Lance23Dillon's badges

Lance23Dillon's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML

by pwib / 03/18/2012 at 3:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML

by thechimpchapter / 12/31/2011 at 1:48am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2011 at 1:21am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

by ktinanic / 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML

by 3peeps / 12/30/2011 at 2:13am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I have to choose between getting a cellphone contract that I need, or a TV that I don't even want, but which my flatmates insist I contribute towards. The same flatmates who eat all my food. This increased grocery bill has left me unable to afford either the phone or TV. FML

by WTF / 12/30/2011 at 2:10am / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

by Ashton Sprunger / 12/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at work handling the cash register. It wasn't working correctly, so I apologized to the woman I was waiting on for the delay and explained, "The cash register's being a little retarded today." Then I noticed her clearly "special" adult son standing behind her. FML

by insomnia / 12/22/2011 at 10:23am / United States / Work