LanaViolin

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LanaViolin

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1402
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About LanaViolin : My last name isn't violin, in case you're wondering, but I do play the instrument.
I'm pretty much a sarcastic asshole, unless you know me, to which I'll be an even more sarcastic asshole. Kidding.
I like learning languages- I speak English, Russian, Spanish, French, and am in the process of learning German.
Grammar Nazi right here, which is why I usually reject most of the FMLs I moderate. Capitalize your I's, people! If you post about your boyfriend and you're 13 years old, nobody gives a shit.
Nothing more to say-
Good day to you!

LanaViolin's page activity

Visits<b>crazy_bananas</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 1:53am<b>captain_hero89</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 12:16pm<b>lost7702</b> - the 07/08/2016 at 11:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:55pm<b>madi10647</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 2:02am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 7:28am<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 11:25pm<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 2:31am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 12:46pm<b>RandomJam124</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:01pm<b>AwFuckThisImDead</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 12:11pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 1:24pm<b>ki087</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 10:08am<b>KxHoneyCombxP</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:49am<b>themonesterman</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 8:21am<b>prthundergod</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 11:28pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Mrhammer404</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:56pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 12:14am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 1:34pm

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LanaViolin's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

by ShittyProposal / 10/20/2013 at 3:06am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was so sexually frustrated that I tried getting off with a banana. It was not enjoyable, for me or the banana. FML

by Kyra.45 / 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I bought some really expensive face wipes that were supposed to cure my awful acne. I was excited to use them until I found out my mom had used them all wiping down her car. FML

Today, my 17-year-old son hacked off the legs of his bed with a saw. His explanation? "The bed looks cooler closer to the floor." FML

by Anonyme / 09/06/2013 at 7:56am / France (Basse-Normandie) / Kids

Today, I've come to the conclusion that my phone addiction is getting out of control after I typed my PIN code into the microwave. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2013 at 10:57am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

by Oops / 06/10/2013 at 7:22am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while feeding my neighbour's cats, I mistakenly switched up their foods. One has medicated food that causes drowsiness. The healthy cat got knocked out like a log. I panicked, laid him out by the bed, and spilled milk around his head to make it look "natural." I think I'm going to hell. FML

by fuckshitcockwaffle / 05/31/2013 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

by Anonymous / 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML

by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

by Mr.no contacts / 03/31/2013 at 3:00am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML

by Jex / 10/06/2012 at 6:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I have a heart condition that causes migraines and fainting, so I take salt tablets to stop the fainting. The migraines can lead to a stroke, so I have medication for them. The medication has a side effect: fainting. And to avoid migraines, I should avoid salt. FML

by Neurocardiogenic Syncope / 08/24/2012 at 12:08am / Canada / Health

Today, I realized that if I died tomorrow, the only photos available for my funeral would be crappy family Christmas portraits, acne-filled yearbook photos, and several pictures from my MySpace days, where I'm sporting coontails and looking paler than Edward Cullen's ass. FML

by kherien / 08/12/2012 at 1:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a barbecue with my extended family. I was chatting to my grandma, when my idiotic brother decided to douse the grill with his cola. The hissing sounded so much like a Minecraft creeper that I instinctively screamed and practically shat my pants. FML

by NaKreen / 07/30/2012 at 6:21pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous