Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

LadyClarik

Offline (the 02/24/2014 at 2:56pm) | Search for a member

LadyClarik

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 12 December 1983 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2081
  • Number of comments : 93
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About LadyClarik : I am a(n):
Avid reader
Girl gamer (PMS Clan)
Professional photographer

Mother
Cellist

I love:
Music (The Violent Femmes, The Doors, Chopin, Janes Addiction, etc.)
Literature (Kipling, Wilde, Dumas, etc.)
Movies (The Usual Suspects,Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Reservoir Dogs)
Feel free to message me!

LadyClarik's page activity

Visits<b>PopularPoptart</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:28pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 10:56pm<b>jitterbug1503</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 7:52pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:21am<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:05pm<b>mcronin</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 8:08pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 11:19pm<b>HighasaCloud</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 9:23am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 4:57am<b>Garrett2818</b> - the 11/14/2014 at 12:48pm<b>rapsac200</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Colourize</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 4:08am<b>Saso</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 12:08am<b>tehaustiebear</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 1:32am<b>_kyleG_</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 2:23pm<b>DippinGrizzly907</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:17pm<b>thepanakuukanap</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 3:55pm<b>drayloon</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:46pm

LadyClarik's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of LadyClarik's badges

LadyClarik's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my mom, braiding my dad's pubic hair. I don't know what scarred me more; my mom braiding his pubic hair or the fact that his pubic hair is long enough to be braided. FML

#18479276
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52366) - you deserved it (3968)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - intimacy - by Joe (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32846) - you deserved it (4965)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that the only reason most of my students come to lecture is that they have a running bet on how many times I say "OK" in two hours. It was 137 last week. FML

#18025254
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25141) - you deserved it (9611)

On 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm - work - by Habit - United Kingdom (Leeds)

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

#17940087
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, a woman came into my work and yelled at me because no one told her the cake she had bought the week before was made of ice cream. She'd hidden it in the cupboard and it melted. I work in Dairy Queen. FML

#17940087
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:11am - work - by ab (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I showed my boyfriend a calendar, marked with the number of times we've had sex over the past month. Then followed by a calendar of the month before, which had almost triple the number of hits. I had to point out that our stats need to improve. FML

#17901897
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (18451)

On 10/04/2011 at 3:04am - intimacy - by friskeyk14 - United States (California)

Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML

#17826204
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28251) - you deserved it (3233)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:17am - work - by ouch. (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29935) - you deserved it (10814)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I walked into my shed to find my daughter's boyfriend asleep and completely duct-taped to the ceiling, with his face painted like a clown. FML

#17628781
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (3299)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:00am - kids - by piece of shed - United States (New York)

Today, while having sex, my boyfriend decided to sing the Star Wars theme song as he entered his penis into me. FML

#17304826
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41468) - you deserved it (10345)

On 07/30/2011 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Texas)

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29946) - you deserved it (4537)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

#17172932
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44827) - you deserved it (6674)

On 07/19/2011 at 2:24am - kids - by hatemylife - United States (New York)

Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

#17156963
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41339) - you deserved it (3603)

On 07/18/2011 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, in front of family and friends, as I got down on one knee, my girlfriend fainted. Her father, a lawyer, rushed over and said, "Anything she says for the next 72 hours is not legally binding" and whisked her away. FML

#17147393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42454) - you deserved it (3019)

On 07/17/2011 at 8:34am - love - by bigjohn106 - United States (Maryland)

Today, while using the restroom at work, I dropped my keys into the toilet. I left to find something to get them out and figured nobody would use a toilet with keys in it. I came back to a bowl of dung and "Shit happens" written on the wall in lipstick. FML

#16980115
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35259) - you deserved it (8148)

On 07/05/2011 at 12:04am - work - by Stacy - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: