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Lacist

Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 11:41pm) | Search for a member

Lacist

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1411
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lacist's page activity

Visits<b>MissKangaroo</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 8:34am<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:01am<b>DropDeadKrislyn</b> - the 11/04/2014 at 3:31am<b>love_struck97</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:23pm<b>Burberryhype</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 4:50am<b>nataliewby</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 9:54am<b>ItsAlly</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 1:53pm<b>enu_vastanii__</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 1:11am<b>simplysarcastics</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 3:42pm<b>sky413</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 6:02pm<b>RavenBlaze</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:55am<b>christian1509</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:16am<b>SkoomaKi</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 6:02am<b>Tuttiefrutti</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 8:55pm<b>PseudoDan</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Ciarasdfghjkl_</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 11:44am<b>buster113</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 5:32am<b>Thebangs5</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 2:14pm

Lacist's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of Lacist's badges

Lacist's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

#21035253
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43177) - you deserved it (5532)

On 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm - health - by cuntocracy (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51548) - you deserved it (6872)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46777) - you deserved it (12669)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

#21014374
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43022) - you deserved it (4622)

On 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (4388)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50556) - you deserved it (26258)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48966) - you deserved it (6450)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

#20999459
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53342) - you deserved it (7933)

On 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by zamwow (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43667) - you deserved it (2583)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

#20991949
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (10073)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by The_Rest_of_the_Story (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59608) - you deserved it (4307)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

#20967638
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41864) - you deserved it (3329)

On 11/23/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by AshleyRose24 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55902) - you deserved it (12489)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States



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