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Offline (the 08/26/2014 at 11:41pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3287
  • Number of comments : 149
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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Lacist's page activity

Visits<b>iG_08</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 1:54am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 4:19am<b>hasanain31</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:14pm<b>justindrew14</b> - the 01/16/2016 at 4:39pm<b>Dalboz</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 11:34pm<b>SnowxSakura</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 12:13pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 10:15am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 10:22am<b>niceguy123</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 3:38pm<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 1:50pm<b>GreyJedi</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 11:10am<b>pharaohasphuck</b> - the 10/21/2015 at 3:23am<b>reillyg11</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 11:52pm<b>FenHarel</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 2:37pm<b>llsuperlilyll</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 12:20am<b>mzrayray</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 2:49am<b>sleepyfires</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 12:04am<b>Nicolasaur726</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 10:43am

Fucked!<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 10:19am<b>Feklfekl2222</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 4:23pm

Lacist's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.


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Lacist's favorite FMLs

Today, my brother asked me if I wanted to see a magic trick. I stupidly said yes and now have a black eye from where he punched me. My dad thinks it's hilarious and my mum says he didn't know any better. He's 13. FML

by cuntocracy / 01/21/2014 at 5:27pm / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

by stillhurting / 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Health

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 12:30am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2014 at 3:36pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

by fuck off, dad / 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

by Anonymous / 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

by nopissleft / 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I would like to thank the program designer that put "Set as home page" directly under "Remove from history". FML

by The_Rest_of_the_Story / 12/14/2013 at 1:38am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

by Lemurcat / 12/11/2013 at 11:56am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

by I hate that game / 11/23/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Wigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to have a talk with my stalker. After telling him not to snapchat me, not to text me, and that I'm not interested, all he said was "I think persistence is going to be key here." FML

by AshleyRose24 / 11/23/2013 at 3:02am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids