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Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38109) - you deserved it (14895)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47330) - you deserved it (6501)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went to pick up my car from where I parked it last night. I walked over to my parking spot only to find a vegetable stand there in its place. Apparently, that's the location of the Saturday Market and they had my car towed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (14750)
On 10/02/2010 at 6:07pm - money - by hunnybaby0319 - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32860) - you deserved it (11289)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38233) - you deserved it (10977)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (44107)
On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)
Today, my boss fired me because he said I was spending too much time surfing the internet. When I reminded him that my work computer isn't even networked, he said, "Oh, sorry, you're the one who takes too many smoke breaks." When I told him that I don't even smoke, he said, "Just go..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52908) - you deserved it (3125)
On 06/08/2010 at 3:11am - work - by Myzyri (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57394) - you deserved it (6233)
On 03/28/2010 at 5:04am - intimacy - by drsyl54 - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13081) - you deserved it (30676)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (8302)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24036) - you deserved it (6546)
On 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm - animals - by poordog (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (20205)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, as I got into an elevator, I spotted a little old lady hobbling desperately to get on. I frantically tapped on the 'door open' button but the doors closed. I got dirty looks from the people in the lift, only then did I realise I had frantically tapped the 'door close' button instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (21499)
On 08/25/2009 at 5:17am - misc - by ElevatorThug (man) - Singapore
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58834) - you deserved it (3783)
On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24530) - you deserved it (106388)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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