Kyonikov

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Kyonikov

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 17 August 1988 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2455
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kyonikov's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:50pm<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 10:23pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 12/12/2009 at 11:34pm<b>terimaa</b> - the 10/03/2009 at 5:14pm<b>ViCT0RiA</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 7:06pm<b>screwtaylor</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 7:05pm<b>moonlight_daze</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 11:06am<b>1111xxx111xxx</b> - the 08/18/2009 at 8:11pm<b>DoveOrHawk</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 10:38pm<b>Tobunshi</b> - the 08/14/2009 at 1:03am<b>HummingBirdsFly</b> - the 08/13/2009 at 9:02am<b>thegoodlifeNOT</b> - the 08/11/2009 at 11:11pm<b>subarchetta</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 2:49am<b>lowcapacityx</b> - the 07/30/2009 at 8:30pm<b>uneekfreak16</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 12:12am<b>millerman523</b> - the 07/20/2009 at 1:16am<b>nuclear</b> - the 07/13/2009 at 7:04pm<b>Dragonz_Eyez</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 10:13pm

Kyonikov's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Kyonikov's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to announce to my son that I am pregnant again. After I told him, he looks up and yells: "fuck this shit!" and walks out of the room. My son is nine years old. FML

by poormom / 06/27/2009 at 12:05am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

by shouldhaveknown / 06/26/2009 at 10:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

by ouchers / 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to put my laptop on a desk when I got a text message. I was startled by my ringtone and dropped my laptop on the ground. It now has dent marks on the bottom. The text message was from an annoying friend simply saying "I'm eating a hot dog." FML

by Anonymous / 05/31/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I turned 30 years old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

by willieboom / 05/30/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was hit by a truck while walking to school. It was the driver's fault as I was in a crosswalk. My parents met me at the hospital where I had minor injuries. They began discussing what the insurance money would be spent on. They decided on a second honeymoon to Las Vegas. FML

by screwed / 05/29/2009 at 7:21pm / United States (Washington) / Money

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML

by HidenSeek / 05/07/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

by tvaladie / 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm / United States (Tennessee) / Transportation

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous