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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11774) - you deserved it (21483)
On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15080) - you deserved it (1416)
On 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by ohcrap (man) - United States
Today, I went on a blind date at a local restaurant. When my date walked in, she took one look at me, said "nope", and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (1650)
On 11/05/2012 at 2:21pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (3619)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (19620)
On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany
Today, after a week of looking for my car keys and being forced to drag my family around on public transportation, my wife found the keys in our car's ignition. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4549) - you deserved it (17999)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Philippines (Manila)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17953) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18293) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (2103)
On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)
Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (6591)
On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15285) - you deserved it (930)
On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7520) - you deserved it (28110)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21121) - you deserved it (4070)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22598) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14928) - you deserved it (812)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)
Friday 24 May 2013
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