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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19858) - you deserved it (3293)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20557) - you deserved it (3704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm - money - by Money-money-money (woman) - France
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20751) - you deserved it (2813)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)
Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17446) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/06/2012 at 12:35am - work - by SpanishInFrenchClass (woman) - United States
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21979) - you deserved it (4359)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying I needed to come home immediately. When I got there, he informed me that the reason I needed to rush home from work was because he wiped a booger on the wall and it was in the shape of a penis. He said it's a sign, like when people see Jesus in toast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15122) - you deserved it (2021)
On 12/03/2012 at 7:38pm - misc - by FlyingFist - United States
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14732) - you deserved it (5462)
On 12/03/2012 at 12:06am - health - by WTFFAIL (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my son turned 8. We watched as he unwrapped a $55 Nerf gun, extra 'bullets', new shoes and a school bag with his favorite TV character on the front and a action figure inside. As he finished he looked me straight in the eyes and says, "That's great ma, but seriously what'd you get me?". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (8098)
On 12/02/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (6474)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12441) - you deserved it (4721)
On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36485) - you deserved it (9578)
On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21287) - you deserved it (5423)
On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States
Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20964) - you deserved it (4206)
On 11/22/2012 at 11:13am - love - by but I tried anal and everything (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5387) - you deserved it (26381)
On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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