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KylieMangion's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, I was standing around, doing nothing. When my coworker pointed this out, I laughed and said, "It's okay, I'm training for a supervisor position!" Guess who was standing right behind me. FML
by sparkrok / 03/05/2014 at 7:36pm / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML
by SarahNB / 03/01/2014 at 4:09pm / United States (Utah) / Money
by Anonymous / 03/01/2014 at 5:42am / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML
by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/23/2014 at 12:29pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by dsamanthas / 02/23/2014 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Animals
by begging for air / 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML
by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML
by Dsark / 02/19/2014 at 12:12am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 02/18/2014 at 2:49pm / Virgin Islands, U.S. / Intimacy
by tigerisabelle / 02/05/2014 at 10:39pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML
by Kaddiscott / 01/20/2014 at 5:12am / Italy (Trentino-Alto Adige) / Miscellaneous
by arsenalfcboy / 01/20/2014 at 4:31am / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/12/2014 at 1:38am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!"… Today, at the doctor's, I dropped my pants and the attractive nurse assured me it was the biggest… Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just…