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Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29169) - you deserved it (2872)
On 02/18/2013 at 2:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (6231)
On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22587) - you deserved it (4245)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (3957)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12622) - you deserved it (37077)
On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was terribly late for class, so I rushed to the classroom door, thinking it was unlocked. I smacked face-first into the glass, and awkwardly fell to the floor. Once I got back up, I peeked through the glass, only to realise it wasn't even my class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (5547)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19799) - you deserved it (5012)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28017) - you deserved it (4926)
On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)
Today, with 24 inches of snow on the ground, it is raining like hell. The weight of the snow, now full of rain water, collapsed the roof over my living room. I was eating cereal in my underwear, in the living room, directly under the failure. I'm cold. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36117) - you deserved it (2958)
On 02/11/2013 at 3:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27628) - you deserved it (2200)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (2802)
On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States
Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13241) - you deserved it (26048)
On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon" and ended the same conversation with "and that's why we should divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (2896)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:38am - love - by PokeWife (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30055) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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