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KylieMangion's favorite FMLs
by ashbeat / 01/01/2013 at 10:20am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by aelia_oups / 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law purchased matching Christmas presents for myself and my sister-in-law to open together in front of everyone. Guess who are now the proud owners of matching metal tampon cases. FML
by Shelle / 12/26/2012 at 3:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
by Iknoweverything / 12/22/2012 at 3:06am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
by djl / 12/20/2012 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy for me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift them when I saw the other man, who was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informed me he was buying them for his wife. FML
by Johnny / 12/19/2012 at 6:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML
by Bajar / 12/18/2012 at 2:53pm / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, a friend informed me that my dog's name means "penis" in Greek. I live in a predominantly Greek neighbourhood, and apparently I've been screaming for "dong" every evening for the past 3 years. No wonder they don't talk to me much. FML
by Dog_Lover / 12/18/2012 at 10:30am / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by teejayrn / 12/18/2012 at 5:03am / Kids
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money
Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML
by lingadoo / 12/07/2012 at 12:46am / Kuwait (Al Kuwayt) / Miscellaneous
by SpanishInFrenchClass / 12/06/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Work
by Banana / 12/04/2012 at 11:04am / Puerto Rico / Transportation
- Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…