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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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Today, my sister stopped by to visit me with her pet bird in tow. She asked me to hold the animal while she went to the toilet, and put it on my shoulder. It promptly shat on my only clean shirt and tore away a good deal of skin from my hand when I tried to get it off me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (1680)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18505) - you deserved it (8107)
On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15639) - you deserved it (1219)
On 09/22/2012 at 3:29am - misc - by ak_6694 (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. My dad noticed my depression and got me to tell him what was wrong. I told him everything, and trusting him to have an intelligent suggestion, I asked him what I should do. He shrugged and said, "Fuck, sue him, I dunno." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14246) - you deserved it (1593)
On 09/21/2012 at 7:20pm - love - by Pissed (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after completely refilling my almost empty gas tank, I witnessed the price flip from $3.69 per gallon to $3.59. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17618) - you deserved it (1404)
On 09/21/2012 at 2:49pm - money - by The Drew - United States
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (1326)
On 09/21/2012 at 7:48am - love - by dateless (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (2037)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6878) - you deserved it (13290)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:56am - misc - by for_fs_sake (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15533) - you deserved it (8255)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14804) - you deserved it (2677)
On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18284) - you deserved it (1361)
On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23117) - you deserved it (4179)
On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I decided to be a gentleman and let an old lady have my seat on the bus. Before I could even get up, she sat on my lap and wouldn't get off. I got an involuntary lap dance from a grandma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16240) - you deserved it (1113)
On 09/11/2012 at 7:07pm - misc - by tdudey123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (13583)
On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31136) - you deserved it (1396)
On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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