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Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32291) - you deserved it (3000)
On 06/18/2013 at 9:06am - work - by Not a day over 35 (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my parents took my iPad back to the store and exchanged it for two cheap knock off tablets. Reason being my little brother threatened to run away because I had one and he didn't. I bought the iPad on my own after graduation. They kept the difference in price. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34716) - you deserved it (1848)
On 06/18/2013 at 2:34am - kids - by evilmuffinlord (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26914) - you deserved it (1458)
On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35782) - you deserved it (21678)
On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)
Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35087) - you deserved it (3034)
On 06/16/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by not a brain cell in sight (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up to my bratty younger sister cutting through my hair with a pair of scissors. I now look like a freak, and my mum bitched me out for being angry, all because my sister claimed she'd been sleep-walking. Her demented smirk said otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37726) - you deserved it (2010)
On 06/16/2013 at 2:49pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I was having back pains and was making moaning noises because of the pain. My neighbors came over to my apartment to complain. When I opened the door I let out a moan and the woman said, "See! I told you she wasn't having sex!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (32581) - you deserved it (4316)
On 06/16/2013 at 9:37am - health - by back pain - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41729) - you deserved it (3084)
On 06/16/2013 at 12:54am - love - by fun (man) - United States
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (2022)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland
Today, my fiancé threatened to leave me for "bleeding too damn much." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (3734)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:57am - love - by bloody - United States
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (39813) - you deserved it (5054)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39376) - you deserved it (3556)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49270) - you deserved it (2903)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my son visited for the first time in three years, asking to stay a while. It turns out he insulted someone online and gave his address in case they wanted to fight him. They accepted the offer, and so my son's imaginary Muay Thai skills went AWOL, along with his testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33642) - you deserved it (3493)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:12pm - kids - by I fathered a pussy. (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36223) - you deserved it (5893)
On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 17 June 2013
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