go_carlton44@hotmail.com
add me if you want :)
Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28493) - you totally deserved it (1480)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - misc - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)
Today, it was my boyfriends birthday and I saw he was logged in on ooVoo. He sent me a request to video chat so I decided to take off all of my clothes to surprise him. Little did I know, his entire family was at his house and at the computer because he, "wanted to show them what a great girlfriend I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15754) - you totally deserved it (45794)
On 07/26/2009 at 9:05am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24354) - you totally deserved it (8372)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. When I was about to send one, I accidently send the picture to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8632) - you totally deserved it (40448)
On 06/20/2009 at 3:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)
Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13744) - you totally deserved it (51641)
On 06/12/2009 at 4:45pm - money - by beatenbyabum (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13429) - you totally deserved it (61897)
On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I see my dad on a bike so I shout after him. He turns his head around and then runs into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12942) - you totally deserved it (20776)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:35pm - misc - by Richocet - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24017) - you totally deserved it (177434)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled : "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (220697) - you totally deserved it (244562)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353557) - you totally deserved it (15285)
On 02/28/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was sitting in class and I fell asleep during the lesson. I was wearing sweatpants and had an erection. My teacher came up to me and grabbed my penis. She thought it was my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (385677) - you totally deserved it (67637)
On 02/27/2009 at 2:52pm - intimacy - by jgondi1 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
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