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Kriiistenn

Offline (the 06/06/2015 at 1:37am) | Search for a member

Kriiistenn

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2373
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 37 posted

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Kriiistenn's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:20pm<b>maria95aa</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 1:00pm<b>Stevend3095</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:33am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 3:40pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 7:31am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:33pm<b>jonnyscash</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 6:48am<b>Dracoboxer357</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 6:01am

Kriiistenn's FML badges

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Kriiistenn's badges

Kriiistenn's favorite FMLs

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35591) - you deserved it (9619)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37547) - you deserved it (4801)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24951) - you deserved it (45586)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53727) - you deserved it (4709)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52760) - you deserved it (18618)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41612) - you deserved it (12563)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (8176) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I dropped my suitcase on my toe. Don't worry, it was already broken. FML

#21010276
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41942) - you deserved it (4010)

On 12/30/2013 at 8:07am - health - by laurenasabutton (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45271) - you deserved it (23560)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned I was conceived to the sounds of a Spice Girls album. FML

#20954288
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (3819)

On 11/11/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by queenxalee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44221) - you deserved it (6858)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (40786)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56868) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I dreamt that I beat someone up for using Comic Sans in a project. Now I can't look at him without being irrationally angry. FML

#20914246
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32788) - you deserved it (6356)

On 10/09/2013 at 7:15pm - work - by Ellie (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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