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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Koyla

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Koyla
  • Town/Country : Springhill, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 5 May 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Koyla's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to take off my girlfriend's bra. When I finally unhooked it, it snapped back and hit me in the eye. FML

#2890186 (223)

I agree, your life sucks (38506) - you deserved it (18493)

On 06/14/2009 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by HatedbyBras (man) - Netherlands

Today, I was peeing in the shower when my girlfriend suddenly pulled open the shower curtain in an attempt to scare me. Startled, I quickly spun around and peed all over her dress. FML

#2881104 (385)

I agree, your life sucks (23440) - you deserved it (39785)

On 06/14/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by locksmack (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

#2499784 (161)

I agree, your life sucks (16542) - you deserved it (45297)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:47pm - intimacy - by sweet_02 (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML

#2427031 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (6172)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (41147)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

#2335982 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (14111) - you deserved it (48161)

On 05/27/2009 at 5:45am - intimacy - by arctic1 (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML

#2209832 (393)

I agree, your life sucks (41160) - you deserved it (15447)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States

Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML

#2201893 (99)

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (43259)

On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (8096) - you deserved it (40437)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiance proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiance stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

#1832318 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (60439) - you deserved it (9540)

On 05/10/2009 at 11:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my mom out to a fancy restaurant, and spent close to $300 on her Mother's Day present. Later, my little brother drew her a card with crayons on pink construction paper. She cried. He is 20 years old. FML

#1818781 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (49584) - you deserved it (4163)

On 05/10/2009 at 4:42pm - kids - by Jess-zee (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I cut down a dead tree in my yard. The top hit the ground and the base seesawed up in the air and came down on my head. I hit the ground like a sack of flour. Fortunately, the wood was rotted and soft. Unfortunately, the chainsaw was still running. 28 stitches in my calf. FML

#1807200 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (62135) - you deserved it (8858)

On 05/10/2009 at 8:44am - misc - by Jopes (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

#1791192 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (18267) - you deserved it (59168)

On 05/09/2009 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by Jeremy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up happier than I've ever been because last night I hooked up with the girl I have loved for almost a year and I thought I would never get with her. This morning I saw that her status on Facebook was "FML". FML

#1782670 (164)

I agree, your life sucks (62391) - you deserved it (4462)

On 05/09/2009 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

#1775896 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (25449) - you deserved it (60068)

On 05/09/2009 at 11:51am - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (Illinois)