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Offline (the 02/10/2015 at 8:33pm) | Search for a member
About Korra : I'll answer any questions via PM :)
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, as I was waiting fir girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who lookd a lot like her. I ran towards her, arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, arms in the air, still running. FML
today I droppd a whole batch of penis-shapd cookies on the floor . Then I thought, ( 5-second rule ) and startd eating them . And then I realizd that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor . FML
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook . I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed . Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie . FML
Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, cuz our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managd to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shockd an highly confusd. FML
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, bra snapped. I then had to ask male boss if I could staple it back together. Thrty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
Today, mah boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and leren about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. fat FML
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete geniu decided to flush the toilet downstair halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to fine looool a comfortable sitting position. FML
the office I work at puttd up a ( No Masturbating at Desks ) sign. I'm disappointd by this, not cuz I usually whack off at my desk, but cuz enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
Today, I accidentally decodd the system my parent use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossd-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" big fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015