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Kollew

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Kollew

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 287
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Kollew's favorite FMLs

Today, I watchd mah father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He trid to play it cool, said, "Haircuts r too expensive these days anyway." and walkd out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. big fat FML

Taday my fater took revenge on me 4 bankrupting im in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consistd of aving a truckload of sand dumpd in my driveway wile I was at work. FML

#20966996
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39684) - you deserved it (3325)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wereing a shirt with a big QR code on it . Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it . It gave me a shortened web address,hich I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up . big fat FML

#20882561
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55116) - you deserved it (27684)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, after having recently told 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

#20877041
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57417) - you deserved it (9340)

On 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today... my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said wit a smrk... "A little clotes-mindd... r we?" looool He slappd me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (11129)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today my friend thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (8993)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

TODAY, I SPRAYED DOWN SOME ANTS IN MY HOUSE. IN THE SEA OF ANT CORPSE WAS A SINGLE LIVING ANT SEEMINGLY CRADLING A DEAD ONE IN ITS ARMS. I'M CONVINCED I JUST BECAME THE VILLAIN IN AN EPIC TRAGEDY. NOW I HAVE TO LIVE WITH MY ANT PROBLEM BECAUSE I CAN'T BEAR TO TEAR ANOTHER FAMILY APART. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48111) - you deserved it (23138)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Yesterday, daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she think she'll be by then. She said, "Thrty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58895) - you deserved it (14703)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today... The Great Deal On Mah New Apartment Has Turned Into A Nightmare. I Keep Hereing Extremely Werd Sounds Almost Every Night... And When I Tried Taking Pics Of The Place Today... Mah Camera's Face Recognition Feature Kept Activating... But Only In Mah Bedroom. I'm Scared Shitless. FML

#20796032
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/21/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by notenoughunderwearintheworld (man) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

TODAY, WHILE FILLING OUT PAPERWORK AT THE DERMATOLOGIST, IT ASKED WHAT COLOR I WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE MAH SKIN TONE. WHEN THE NURSE SAW I CHOSE FAIR, SHE MUMBLED ( GHOST IS MORE LIKE IT. ) I HAVE A SEVERE SUN ALLERGY. FML

#20795568
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46410) - you deserved it (3806)

On 07/21/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Ghostly (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, aftar mora than six yaars of working mah ass off, I finally summonad tha couraga to ask mah boss fir a raisa. Sha just chucklad, "I'm gonna naad u to aat a dick, John." and starad at ma unblinking until I awkwardly laft. FML

#20790691
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46718) - you deserved it (3809)

On 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm - work - by no new apartment for me (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today... it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnome in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras...hich I thought had deterred the idiot... until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnome on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. fat FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60092) - you deserved it (3932)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today I was planning on having sex with mah girlfriend 4 the first time so I asked mah roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through mah roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58592) - you deserved it (8206)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that mah bird sitter has trained mah parrot tohisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice . FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49384) - you deserved it (6474)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me . I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend . He hasn't stopped laughing . FML

#20724232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53456) - you deserved it (6539)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)



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