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Koankuru

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Koankuru

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  • Number of visits : 205
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Visits<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 12:26am<b>bleh028</b> - the 05/04/2013 at 12:10am

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Koankuru's favorite FMLs

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40544) - you deserved it (3360)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (6551)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally worked up the courage to start a Facebook chat with a guy I really like. It went so well, and he even agreed to hang out sometime. Seconds after we finished our conversation, he changed his status to: "Desperate bitches really piss me off." FML

#20803390
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59427) - you deserved it (7106)

On 07/25/2013 at 7:20pm - love - by sucksatlove (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42534) - you deserved it (7135)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46114) - you deserved it (4014)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

#20762850
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46438) - you deserved it (4397)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:18am - kids - by brokeandhungry - United States

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

#20762710
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45132) - you deserved it (8990)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by idk ask freud - United States (Oregon)

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28670) - you deserved it (2887)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, I took off the training wheels of my niece's bike. I tried to show her how to ride it, but she told me to get off because I needed a fat girl's bike. FML

#19510185
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (5869)

On 04/22/2012 at 8:09am - kids - by Mary Kathryn (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54225) - you deserved it (3887)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39748) - you deserved it (22609)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States

Today, I found out how painful it is when your ceiling fan falls on you. FML

#17337129
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33410) - you deserved it (2885)

On 08/01/2011 at 10:46pm - misc - by Username - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking on the beach when I tripped. I was about to land on a kid's sandcastle, so I tried to dodge by leaning left to avoid it. Before I hit the ground, I noticed the many rocks I was heading for. FML

#17197831
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27246) - you deserved it (3846)

On 07/21/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by MICHAELTHEA (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33177) - you deserved it (7583)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)



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