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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20923) - you deserved it (1158)
On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (15181)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24137) - you deserved it (3049)
On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)
Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37912) - you deserved it (3967)
On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23749) - you deserved it (3011)
On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39727) - you deserved it (2939)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17051) - you deserved it (29723)
On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)
Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26185) - you deserved it (8142)
On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia
Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (6549)
On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26731) - you deserved it (1703)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I'm sharing a hotel room with co-workers on a business trip. The walls are paper-thin, you could hear a pin drop, and I'm trying to make my explosive diarrhea as close to silent as possible. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28117) - you deserved it (1765)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:14am - work - by avoid the sour cream - United States
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37837) - you deserved it (2387)
On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13442) - you deserved it (19520)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45434) - you deserved it (3203)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (2860)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
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