Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Koalacatcher

Search for a member

Koalacatcher

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 760
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Koalacatcher's page activity

Visits<b>LaurenAshleigh97</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 9:52am<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:36pm<b>Fmlano</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 4:32pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:48am<b>linds3y</b> - the 05/24/2013 at 12:58pm<b>happylappy</b> - the 05/23/2013 at 12:19pm<b>Ambient25</b> - the 05/12/2013 at 11:40am<b>DemonX</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 9:40pm<b>candy29</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 6:23pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/11/2013 at 4:16pm<b>TacoBelle</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 7:04pm<b>violetsweety</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 2:25pm<b>Pleonasm</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 11:01am<b>Domi2015</b> - the 03/02/2013 at 10:52am<b>pickles1994</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 12:33pm

Koalacatcher's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of Koalacatcher's badges

Koalacatcher's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39532) - you deserved it (16918)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38003) - you deserved it (6579)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML

#20536957
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38005) - you deserved it (9193)

On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40642) - you deserved it (3828)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43787) - you deserved it (4242)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27604) - you deserved it (4288)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML

#20517081
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12114) - you deserved it (30663)

On 02/22/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by shelbylove115 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32127) - you deserved it (3058)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (40356)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40432) - you deserved it (4536)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

#20505035
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27901) - you deserved it (5642)

On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking to my dorm room while it was snowing heavily. I saw a girl in a wheelchair trying to get up a slippery incline. Being a good person, I asked to help. I'm a pretty weak guy, and I couldn't push her up. She wheeled away crying because she thought she was fat. FML

#20504485
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35116) - you deserved it (5400)

On 02/12/2013 at 11:57pm - misc - by IMadeAHandicappedPersonCry - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, for the second time in two months, the person in the bathroom stall next to me commented on how loud I pee. This time, she made racehorse noises. I'm now too self-conscious to pee in public again. FML

#20503939
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (2645)

On 02/12/2013 at 5:58pm - misc - by likearacehorse (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, really desperate to get a job, I filled out an application for a dishwashing job. My application got tossed out, because I'm not an economics major like the other guy applying for the same job. FML

#20500922
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25869) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:55pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (2586)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: