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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43344) - you deserved it (4102)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, while I was in the shower, I heard a door slam. Assuming it was my fiancé, I shouted "I love you!" I later opened the bathroom door to see my stereo and television missing. I'd said "I love you" to whoever robbed my apartment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46796) - you deserved it (4068)
On 04/30/2013 at 3:54am - money - by ShowerGirl (woman) - United States
Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (94585)
Today, my grandmother tried to upstage me at my wedding by wearing an actual wedding dress because she "never had a real wedding". FML
I agree, your life sucks (47695) - you deserved it (3255)
On 04/21/2013 at 8:26am - misc - by gamerguru13 - United States (New York)
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (4523)
On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States
Today, I left my son with my husband while I went to the store. Ten minutes later, my dog was missing a large patch of fur, and neither of them can stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (6506)
On 04/17/2013 at 11:14am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12009) - you deserved it (44779)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (4127)
On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24168) - you deserved it (2324)
On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33259) - you deserved it (12596)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32107) - you deserved it (4537)
On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31648) - you deserved it (6918)
On 03/09/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Pakistan
Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (3339)
On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States
Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37839) - you deserved it (3030)
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22266) - you deserved it (3165)
On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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