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Today, I realized that I lie to my friends online and go "offline" for hours at a time so it appears that I have a life outside of the internet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7547) - you totally deserved it (18559)
On 10/22/2009 at 8:26am - misc - by Kimberly - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I was ordering food at McDonalds when a condom fell out and onto the counter. The server looked at me funny before my friend turned around and said, "It's okay, he's never going to use it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18795) - you totally deserved it (4755)
On 10/19/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by ThePidgeon (man) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (55951) - you totally deserved it (1677)
On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was at my girlfriends house with just me and her. Things began to get heated and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24860) - you totally deserved it (45399)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my family and I were just about to leave the house for the vacation that I had been saving up for 3 years. I was coming down the stairs with a heavy suitcase and I tripped and fell breaking my leg, now my family's gone without me while I'm in hospital. I paid for the vacation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39009) - you totally deserved it (1679)
On 07/28/2009 at 1:12pm - health - by broken (man) - Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah)
Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19504) - you totally deserved it (57691)
On 05/17/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by Ohshit (man) - United States (Texas)
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