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Klug

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Klug
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 515
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Klug : I enjoy funny things and rock music.

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Klug's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13538) - you deserved it (20486)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

#5655008
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9482) - you deserved it (26670)

On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54788) - you deserved it (5426)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 3 years. I got reservations for a romantic dinner, and at the end, fireworks would spell out my proposal. The whole thing had taken weeks to plan out and had cost me a lot of money. She proposed to me at a subway station first. FML

#3561385
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44516) - you deserved it (6560)

On 07/07/2009 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

#3451487
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58500) - you deserved it (156445)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!". FML

#2045344
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60121) - you deserved it (6121)

On 05/18/2009 at 8:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I called a priest "lame". He responded jokingly with "God will smite you!" I laughed and walked out the door. I tripped and broke my ankle. FML

#280211
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (85891)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:07am - health - by lolzor (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was eating lunch naked at my home watching porn on the big screen. I heard the garage door opening meaning my roommate was coming home. In my haste to get dressed, I fell back in the barstool I was sitting in and knocked myself out. I woke up still naked and with lettuce all over me. FML

#278861
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18950) - you deserved it (62032)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:26pm - intimacy - by HansonLUVR (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43848) - you deserved it (7189)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (25981)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)



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