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Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24178) - you deserved it (4007)
On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -
Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24827) - you deserved it (3393)
On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (4394)
On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28965) - you deserved it (2348)
On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -
Today, my mom and I heard a thump from inside the coat closet. I opened the door, and something fell on me. My mom, who was behind me, screamed, closed the laundry room door, and ran into the garage, leaving me to face the alleged attacker. It was the vacuum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19820) - you deserved it (2101)
On 09/24/2011 at 12:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29456) - you deserved it (3961)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I was doing my jazz aerobics workout and accidentally kicked my 3 year old daughter in the face. Everyone we know, including my wife, thinks I beat her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22430) - you deserved it (6496)
On 08/29/2011 at 5:19pm - health - by Stan - United States (California)
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (3992)
On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28718) - you deserved it (5809)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29933) - you deserved it (5022)
Today, my friend pushed me into the swimming pool. Unfortunately, we were eight feet away from the actual pool, so I face-planted and rolled in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30839) - you deserved it (2509)
On 06/05/2011 at 3:00am - misc - by kyle - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3861) - you deserved it (32037)
On 09/09/2010 at 10:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU". It really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18627) - you deserved it (8176)
On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42843) - you deserved it (16227)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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