KissMyButtocks

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KissMyButtocks

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1056
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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KissMyButtocks's page activity

Visits<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 8:58pm<b>Dustin1900</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:19pm<b>rahatb98</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 2:11am<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 12:28am<b>apitrix</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 10:08am<b>One_Way</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:00am<b>aguynamednick</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 3:26pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 11:29pm<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 12:53pm<b>boring_boredom</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 10:16pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 6:54pm<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 2:36am<b>Rainhawk94</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:25pm<b>wopchop12</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 11:12pm<b>jodone</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 7:13am<b>theused963</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 6:33am<b>C7</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 4:02pm<b>DazeCat</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 3:16pm

Fucked!<b>WaltzingPhanthom</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 6:28am

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

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KissMyButtocks's favorite FMLs

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2014 at 12:03am / United States (Idaho) / Animals

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting a 9-year-old kid, when she got thirsty and asked for a drink. All I could find was some kind of Mexican fruit drink, but I didn't realize until too late that it was actually hard liquor. I had to scrub her mouth out with toothpaste and put her to bed to cover it all up. FML

by cantprovenothing / 04/18/2014 at 5:31pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2014 at 5:07pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

by ashamedklutz / 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm / United Kingdom (Fife) / Work

Today, my dad gave me the sex talk. After telling me all the stuff I already knew, he told me never to use Durex condoms. He said, "They break a lot. That's the only reason you're around today, really." then chuckled to himself. FML

by accident / 02/14/2014 at 5:41pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

by dumbwifehappylife / 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

by pdub523 / 01/27/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

by Tooyoungforthis / 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor went on vacation, leaving me in charge of his cat and dog. For some reason, he calls his dog "Cat" and his cat "Dog". There are two pet food containers, one labeled "Cat" and the other labeled "Dog". I have no idea which one goes to which animal. FML

by catdog / 01/02/2013 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

by ohcrap / 11/07/2012 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, as my girlfriend and I were finishing up a romantic dinner, she gazed into my eyes for a moment and said, "You know, sometimes you look like a character from Sesame Street." FML

by derve / 11/07/2012 at 6:48pm / United States / Love

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love

Today, I was talking to a group of friends about the various problems in Africa. One of them interrupts me and asks with a straight face, "If it's so bad over there, why don't they all just leave?" FML

by dumbfriend / 03/12/2012 at 3:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous